Friday, September 23, 2005

Nothing is Happening!

Wow; nondescript week! Oddly, none of the following occurred:

- 90 minute extraction due to extreme decay and divergent roots
- patient consuming truly heroic quantities of narcotics and then have the nerve to ask for more
- uncontrollable screaming child ignoring the fact that we haven't hurt them a bit and bursting into tear for shear effect
- mom blames her cavities on the baby "sucking the calcium out of teeth" presumably in utero

I did have a woman lose her denture swimming (presumably in the ocean) and call in desperately wanting a new one. I fear she's going to ask to get it free, since we only put it in less than a year ago. I always appreciate it when you spill your coffee or drop your burger and the person at the counter says, "Aw...hey, here's another on the house." Tragically, I don't have that luxury.... The overhead is a bit higher. So, I'm going in today to see her. I'm off, but she's pretty upset, so hey. Maybe we can put in a flipper by next week....

I did have a young lady come in w/a lot of decay; we fixed most of it two years ago, but daggumit if she isn't STILL drinking 12 cokes a day... I'm sorry...correct myself; I said, "How many cokes do you drink a day?" "Coke? are you kidding? I don't drink that!" "Oh." "PEPSI is the only way to go." Duh. Anyway, I asked her if she ever did any meth. "What? Drugs?!? Heck no; I've got two kids!"

Ohhhhh. Well, speaking as someone who has lost a patient who OD'd on heroin while pregnant, forgive my not assuming the connection between motherhood and sobriety.

Similarly, I saw a teen girl a few months back. "Hey, Melissa; you didn't check this box on the health history. Are you taking any birth control pills?" "Huh? I'm just 14, silly!" Gosh, I wish is was silly. I wanted to pat her on the head, give her a (sugarfree) lollipop and a hug for being innocent and charmingly naive. At least 'til some 17,18-year-old jerk manages to take advantage of that. Seriously tho', the hormones interact w/ antibiotics (actually vice versa) so we need to know. And of course, a number of young women take them strictly for regulating their period.

One more. Me, jokingly, after extracting a retained baby tooth: "Ok, Jimmy - you a smoker?" "No way! I'm just 13!" Again, how many of my 20 year old smokers started at 12? Yeah.

"House" is back on the air. Both my assistant and I watch religiously and then compare notes, fantasizing about being that openly cynical in front of patients. Mmmmm. He and Dr. Cox on "Scrubs" are just the most lovely alter egos... of my id, at least. Or is that an alter id? Does such a thing exist? Paging Dr. Freud....